• What’s 7aki Fadi all about?

    I am going to tell you a lot of things but at the end of the day it's all 7aki Fadi (empty talk , حكي فاضي), most probably somebody out there already said it.
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    ~ Gerry Spence

    "Dammit, Stephen Hawking! I just wanted to color outside the lines. You didn't have to burn the whole coloring book!"

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Overheard at the Office: The One Percent.

Capture

Bob:  The 7aki’s are part of the 1 percent

7aki: Holllaaaaaaa.  But why does the 99 percent go on more vacations?

Bob: Two reasons:

1-      To escape a horrible day to day life

2-      They don’t have jobs that have responsibility

7aki:  So if you have more money you have less time to enjoy it. SOOOOOO IRONIC! Best case scenario, Baba 7aki makes lots of money and I quit my job to enjoy it!

Bob:  I think you have the answer!!!  I don’t want to work.

7aki:  Your lucky wife is not working.

Bob:  My wife does it all…but that is the problem. Trying to have it all, makes it stressful. Even my mother has told me to tell her to relax – cuz she will die early and leave me a widower.

7aki:  A widower to marry someone younger Aaaahahahahahahahahahha.

Bob:  Hahahahaha…. l should take out a bigger insurance policy!  Is there anything sacred that WE won’t joke about?

Then We Came to the End

I loved Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris.

The whole book is written in the plural first person.

This is how we are introduced to the characters:

We were fractious and overpaid. Our mornings lacked promise. At least those of us who smoked had something to look forward to at ten-fifteen. Most of us liked most everyone, a few of us hated specific individuals, one or two people loved everyone one and everything. Those who loved everyone were unanimously reviled.

About creativity in the workplace:

We worked in the creative department developing ads and we considered our ad work creative, but it wasn’t half as creative as the work we’d put in to pad our time sheets every Monday morning since layoffs began.

This amazingly depicts office work at any work place to a T:

The bizarre and wonderful and horrible thing about working here is that we find ourselves all caught up in it so that the rest of the world loses its meaning. The connections we make here take on the strange intensity of playground rivalries and cruelties and ecstasies and revelries. Our world could easily be mistaken for the world that the rest of you inhabit, but we feel our losses more acutely and our joys more profoundly by virtue of sharing them with the rest of us here and only here

Funny, witty and so sadly summarizes office/cubicle life and how pathetic we ( 9-5 zombies) are.

Although the book is funny it makes you uncomfortable sometimes,  sad other times but as a whole a good read.

Fun read. I give it the 2 thumbs up.

For more book reviews go here.

 

Is It the Evil Eye or The Begining of the END?

There was a series of unfortunate events that just bombarded me in the past 3 weeks. It’s like I had a lot of bad things piled up waiting to hit me and BOOM they came one after the other.

– Started my new job but not really because my old job begged to keep me on for an extra week (they can’t live without me, hehehhe). My old job was pretty stressful, I’m talking S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L so I couldn’t wait to get out so when they asked me to stay an extra week I died a little  inside.

– Started working on new job for one day then got into a 3 day heavy-duty technical course, AND I GOT A MIGRAINE THE SECOND DAY. It took me 2 days to recover from that. So imagine I am trying to be so technical like and get a lot of technical info WHILE HAVING A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

– after the course I worked at my new job for one day.

– Then I GET SOOOOOOOOO SICK I don’t work for a whole week ,tangent, Thanks to web MD who I will call WEB ASS from now on I thought I had a brain tumor and I was going to die young and leave my children motherless, word to the wise, don’t use Dr. Google, IT”S EVIL, end of tangent. So again I could not start the THE NEW JOB I was DYING TO START. People, DYING to start, you don’t understand, did you hear me, DYING TO START IT.

– I go to my new job for one day.

– I come home all excited because , yay, I feel better, I had neglected my kids and house for the week because I was sick so let me feel more productive and do a load of laundry, and the EFFING WASHING MACHINE BREAKS DOWN. It fills with water, soaks the clothes and then would not drain, so I am in a dilemma, I can’t open the door or the laundry room would flood, so I bite the bullet, got a bucket, opened the door, and emptied the washer WITH AN EFFING CUP. yes you heard me, a CUP. I bailed the water out of the front loading washer cup by painful cup.

To add insult to injury we had to take our laundry to the neighbours to wash.

– The next day my notebook at work gets hit by a virus, a nasty, EVIL virus, so YAAAAAAAAAAY

– That same day I am still not %100 so I sleep on the train on my way back home AND I MISS MY STOP!!!! I had to take a cab from the OTHER train station to where I had parked my car. At least the cabby was a brother so I wished him a Ramadan Mubarak.

– The next day I go to withdraw some cash from the bank machine and the machine denies the card and asks me to go contact my bank. WHAT? I JUST GOTS PAIDZ. Turnes out someone stole my card info ( not the actual card) made a fake card and went on a shopping spree in Montreal, 404 dollars before the bank clued in it was not me, so I had to go to the bank to cancel my bank card , issue a temp one, and they are launching and investigation to get ma money back. I WANTZ MAZ MONEYZ BACKZ. Did all that on my lunch break

– I go back to work and I find an email from my old boss asking me to go help them out on something I worked on A MONTH AGO.

– I go home and go out to exercise on my roller blades to blow off some steam and I wipe out ON THE ASPHALT, and OUCH my arm still hurts.

How much more can a person handle people?

I need a drink, or something more powerful, like horse tranquilizer, ahhahahhaha.

Anyhoo I hope that this string of bad luck is all behind me because, hey, I had a good day today!!!!!!! FINALLY.

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So you know why the washing machine broke? Stay tuned for the next post because you will pee your pants when you know why.

The End

(This post was written by the Bob man, comments in bold by 7aki)

7aki has left us for a new job. She has decided that she would rather get paid more and go where her talents will be appreciated then stay here with her friends. Apparently our unconditional love and affection for her and our hatred for all other things was not enough enticement. So l want to wish her good luck and hopefully she will either screw up royally and will return back to her job with us OR she will be successful and build her empire and hire me.
Since 7aki is incapable of maintaining friendships, l have compiled a “7aki By Number index’ to remember her time with us- and they were good times!! I will miss you friend.

903 – number of lunches shared with 7aki
375 – number of times Bob wasn’t hungry at lunch (That’s why Bob is a liiiittle bit chubby :p)
700 – number of times we had to validate William for lunch
$7500 – amount spend on lunches with 7aki (Bob, I want my money back)
4 – number of movies seen with 7aki
0 – number of those movies that were chick flicks (that’s why we love 7aki)
8 – terabytes of movies downloaded and viewed by 7aki in her fortress of solitude aka basement
1 – number of times William was referred to as a nerd in a 7aki blog
6- number of months William was upset about being referred to as a nerd
$15 – amount of money won by 7aki in poker games by stealing from William
357 – number of times 7aki called me a MOFO ( Bob, you are a MOFO , make that 358)
2 – number of times we have said goodbye to 7aki
1 – number of times we have said goodbye to Bob
0 – number of times we have said goodbye to William
1 – pairs of smokin red shoes
15 – number of ways 7aki has asked me to kill her
1 – number of times 7aki has gone lingerie shopping with her team lead ( I cannot BELIEVE you still talk about this, let it go MOFO,  359)
1 – number of times Bob has fixed a coworkers toilet (hahahahaha, I can’t believe you did this)
1,208 – number of times William has offered directions and/or help to the general public
221 books read by 7aki..btw based on my calculations 7aki would need 12 hour commute daily to consume this much literature
95% – the percentage of all media content (includes books, TV, movies, music, dead sea scrolls etc) in the world that William has consumed ( dead sea scrolls. bwaaaaaahahahahaha, funny Bob, funny!)
0.01% – percentage of all medial consumed by William that is useful (unless your playing trivial pursuit at the Pub) ( that is soooo true! Hahahahahaha)
3 – number of personal items on 7aki desk
221 – number of personal items on Williams desk
0 – number of personal items on Bob’s desk
5 – number of people asked to smell the urine of one of our coworkers (Ew , Bob maybe I should bog about this coworker)
0 – the number of people that actually took up the offer (one of the people asked was our manager, LOL)
210 – favourite number of 7aki
SO4 – Least favourite number of 7aki (MOFO bib bib)
67 – number of months 7aki pirated TV channels
10 – number of months of 7aki paid for TV channels
587 – number of trips to the A$$ food court
150 – number of trips to an A$$ food court with no lighting (remember butt crack guy?)
250 – number of unread emails in William’s INBOX pertaining to lunch plans sent by 7aki ( Remember Bob when William got so upset one time because of the CRAZY number of emails and threatened to un-friend us, IN REAL LIFE)
19- number of ethnic groups that have been by disparaged 7aki (it’s just i hate ALL people equally)
19 – number of ethnic groups that 7aki knows of.
2 – number of hours doing real work on an average day
3 – number of hours internet surfing and blogging on an average day
1 – number of hours spent for lunch on an average day
1 – number of hours spent on coffee, pee and Bob breaks on an average day
$16,200- commuting cost to work for the past 5 years (MOFO transit)
15 days – amount of days it takes for the 7aki family to earn $16,200 (um, no, that’s what YOU MAKE Bob, NET, LOL)
340 – number of times 7aki felt bad because she didn’t feel bad (I just don’t feel bad sometimes when I SHOULD feel bad!!)
12- number of months off work due to pregnancy
30 – number of days actually spent caring for the little 7aki (mama 7aki arrived) (hahahaha,biddi mama)
1,386,789,958 – number of GI-NORMOUS HORSE STABLES possessed by 7aki
0 – number of horseshoes possessed by William (7aram William)
1 – rank of William in the office on most likely to go postal (out of 15 when excluding bombing) (Bob, you are soooooo racist!)
1 – rank of 7aki in the office on mostly likely to go postal (out of 15 when including bombing) (RACIST!!)
4 – number of 7aki’s family members that know that 7aki owns a Christmas tree (I wish I did, but I don’t :p )
3 – number of blood diamonds on 7aki’s finger
22 – number of African kids who helped mine those blood diamonds
3 – number of staff to support the 7aki household
0 – number of staff that 7aki knows their first name (I do too know their names)
2002 – the year in which 7aki’s current cell phone was manufactured ( There is a small tiny rumor that I will be getting a blackberry)
2001 – last year in which 7aki actually worked (shut up, if you don’t do anything it does not mean I don’t, MOFO 360 )
A billion Trillion – number of days it will take Bob to accept 7aki’s departure ( :,(  )

Other miscellaneous things that l cannot put a number to but are part of 7aki’s time here:
– V (I want to punch in the face)
– Z (Whatz iz thiszzzzzz)
– Shrimp (shrimp who?)
– Joe Black (anti life)
– Topper (topper yelled at Joe Black and V)
– Aviator
– Mean girls
– That’s what she said
– Cougar
– Brothers
– Sisters
– Plain Jane
– Michael Cuss
– Can l borrow $1000? (Mofo Bib bib)
– WTF
– Urgent
– I’m sooooooo excited (You are just jealous)
– A$$ food court
– Zellars Sheppard Pie
– Sanjay
– Jai (much cooler)
– Nacho Grande (hahahaha, totally forgot about that!)
– Hottie
– Landscape Rock
– Bssh
– Fit-teen Fity-five
– Amistad
– Green Golf Shirt
– Lovitz
– MOFO BIB-BIB (that MOFO bib – bib is KILLING ME)
– 
– Bee
– Water Club
– Zhang (hey, there is a new Zhang)
– Moobs
– BMD
– Typhoid Mary
– BMW
– Peaking (you peaked when you were born, LOL)
– Douche bag

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Is this like the longest post ever?

Overheard in the Lunch Room 1

My new cubicle is located right next to the lunch room so I get to hear a lot of chatter during the day so I will start a series called: overheard in the lunch room.

Way too talkative colleague (AKA the Nanny because she sounds like Nanny Fran):  When I go in the shower, first, I scrub real hard and …..

At this point I tuned her out because, DUDE , I didn’t really want the mental image to stay with me all day.

The Guilt of Bieng a Working Mom

I was watching Queen Rania during her discussion at Yale university and a question she was asked really bothered me.

Females are always asked this question especially women in big leadership roles and who happen to also be mothers. They are always asked:” How do you balance your work and family and how do you do it as a mother?”

Why is this question never asked of men?

It’s really frustrating for women to always be asked this question because it kind of makes them feel that although they are very successful , they have most probably neglected their kids to reach their goals, so how do they balance?

Men are never thought of as neglecting their kids, they are patted on the back and told, wow what a great provider you are , what a great man.

One of the reasons that this bothers me is that most women have no choice. In this expensive day and age most women are working involuntarily, they work to put food on the table. The days of one income households is coming to an end sooner and sooner , it is so expensive and difficult to only live on the mans income alone so most women have no choice BUT to work.

And no choice but to feel guilty for not being good moms.
So I say enough with the guilt. Women feel so much guilt about this issue from everywhere, media , articles, studies, even friends and family and most frustratingly from other women too.

They are made to feel, hey you are a successful leader but you know what, how do you do it, maybe you are not as good of a mother as you are a good leader.
I hope that one day there will be a tipping point, the tipping point that will make people see that it’s not only the woman who has to balance work and family, it’s also the mans duty. I am waiting for the day when kings are also asked, how do you balance work and family.

It’s about time men feel the guilt for a change.

On Being Busy

The eternal argument between women who stay at home and women who work is who’s busier and who does more work the woman that balances family and career or the  woman who chose her family as a career.

To be honest, now that I am staying at home for a year it feels I am much busier now than when I was working. Granted my house work is the same, I mean I had to cook then and now I do too, the laundry had to be done and the house needed to be cleaned but now instead of dedicating 10+ hours a day to go to work and work and come back I dedicate those 10 hours to my family and home.

While I was working I was updating my blog more, I was visiting more blogs and I was commenting on those blogs and chatting with friends. Now it seems that I do check some blogs but the list is getting smaller and smaller. I hardly comment on any blogs including mine because I am so busy.

How in the heck was I working and beinga Mom? I think one had to suffer and unfortunately it was the family. I feel that we are a much happier family that I am home. Little 7aki is happier, I am happier, baba 7aki is happier. It feels less stressful now that I am home and everybody is taken care of.

I have to go back to work in September and for the first time in my life I don’t want to. I always thought I wanted the career and the both family and work but not anymore. I would love to stay at home for a real balanced life and not having to take orders from stupid people or hang around people I hated just because I share the same workspace with them.

2 years ago I said if I won the lottery I would not quit my job but now, I would quit in a heartbeat.